Top Ten 'Three Ways To Pakistan'

A few days ago, I had a random discussion with a bunch of students in university. I told them about my blog and my research on "Three Ways of How To" in national context. They agreed to answer my questions. I wanted to share the experience. Following are responses of the respondents.

Three jokes a Pakistani will forward happily

• Jokes about Pashtuns and Sardars
• Jokes about Politicians
• Jokes about Teachers

Three ways to earn a name (good or bad)

• Talk for/against the clerics
• Talk for/against establishment
• Talk against politicians

Three ways to die a natural death

• Eat healthy
• Drink healthy
• Avoid going to public places like Markets, Schools, Universities and Hospitals etc

Three reasons you can expect love

• Belong to Middle East
• Shoot a bunch of kids and blame somebody for buying you the gun

and recently discovered

• "Be a Pakistani" 

Three ways you can tell the truth

• Whisper it to yourself
• Tell it to someone who does't understand the language
• Tell it to a tree

Three ways to use freedom of speech

• Say what they want to hear
• Never speak against them
• Don't speak a lot.

Three ways to get away with a murder

• Call the dead a sinner
• Blame the neighbors
• Fly to Thailand

Three ways to die a hero and leave a legend

• Kill the person you are paid to guard
• Claim something or blame someone
• Fly with a crate of mangoes in the luggage.

Three ways to call an Afghan in Pakistan

• Respectable brothers just like our owns, living abroad? No. Muhajir
• Harmless people facing phobias by other communities they live with, just like us? No. Mushtaba Afrad
• A larger community that is expected to apologize and compensate  for something offensive that a minority among them is known to be standing for? No. Kala ba zay.

Three ways to survive after messing up with the flow

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• -
• -

(They said they'll think of a way)

They promised to meet me on the same spot the next day but no one showed up. I suspect they lie.