Monday, 3 July 2017

میرا جواب

پہاڑوں سے نکل کہ هم جب منظر میں آتا ہے
تو برحق ڈٹنے والے هم مشعل و ملالہ ہے
یہ تو تم مانتے ہو کہ یہاں قانونیت کم ہے
ہمیں سوتیلوں کی طرح پھر کیوں جهٹلاتا 
ہے؟

سمگلر پر بهی ہنستا ہے چرواہے پر بهی ہنستا ہے
مجهے ایسا کیوں لگتا ہے تو بس مجه پر ہی ہنستا ہے؟
تمهارے "سا را گا ما پا دا" کا ہم ریاض کرتا ہے
مرے سنگیت پر تالہ ہے، لیکن پهر بهی گاتا ہے
کبهی 'اتڼ'، کبهی رباب ہم سے چهینے گئے هیں
مگر ہم پهر بهی ہر اک ساز اور ہر سر میں گاتا 
ہے

ترا یه میل دل اور زنگی سوچ سے بدبو آتا ہے
مانا تم دن میں تین چار بار پانی سے نہاتا ہے
صفائی کا ذرا گر ہو سکے تو سبق دے ہی دو
کہ ہم پہ ہنس کہ کیسے ہاته تم صاف کراتا 
ہے

مذاق وه تها گر، تو یہ بهی ہے. ناراض کیوں ہوتی ہے؟
گرتا ہے شہسوار وہی جو ایسے جنگ لڑتی ہے
  
(میرا جواب)
 - کائنات حميد خان

 


Recently a poet tried to create comedy by humiliating Pashtuns in one of the Eid Transmissions on PTV, Pakistan's national TV channel. The poet makes fun of the bombs blasts in Pashtun areas of the country and receives a round of applause when he mocks the lack of law and order in the these areas on behalf of the state. He also found this amusing that some Pashtuns smell like sheep, and ridicules them by saying that they take a bath once a year. He also laughs at Pashto music saying that all Pashto songs are composed in one tone. And they don't have a sense for music. While reading those verses, the poet also used a specific tone and made deliberate grammatical mistakes, stereotyping the "Pashtun accent"of Urdu. Different people are reacting to it in different ways. Many activists in the Pashtun community demand an apology from the Poet and the national TV channel. The above poem is my answer to those controversial verses.

Top Ten 'Three Ways To Pakistan'

A few days ago, I had a random discussion with a bunch of students in university. I told them about my blog and my research on "Three Ways of How To" in national context. They agreed to answer my questions. I wanted to share the experience. Following are responses of the respondents.

Three jokes a Pakistani will forward happily

  • Jokes about Pashtuns and Sardars
  • Jokes about Politicians
  • Jokes about Teachers


Three ways to earn a name (good or bad)

  • Talk for/against the clerics
  • Talk for/against establishment
  • Talk against politicians


Three ways to die a natural death
  • Eat healthy
  • Drink healthy
  • Avoid going to public places like Markets, Schools, Universities and Hospitals etc


Three reasons you can expect love

  • Belong to Middle East
  • Shoot a bunch of kids and blame somebody for buying you the gun

and recently discovered

  • "Be a Pakistani" 


Three ways you can tell the truth

  • Whisper it to yourself
  • Tell it to someone who does't understand the language
  • Tell it to a tree


Three ways to use freedom of speech

  • Say what they want to hear
  • Never speak against them
  • Don't speak a lot.


Three ways to get away with a murder

  • Call the dead a sinner
  • Blame the neighbors
  • Fly to Thailand


Three ways to die a hero and leave a legend
  • Kill the person you are paid to guard
  • Claim something or blame someone
  • Fly with a crate of mangoes in the luggage.


Three ways to call an Afghan in Pakistan

  • Respectable brothers just like our owns, living abroad? No. Muhajir
  • Harmless people facing phobias by other communities they live with, just like us? No. Mushtaba Afrad
  • A larger community that is expected to apologize and compensate  for something offensive that a minority among them is known to be standing for? No. Kala ba zay.


Three ways to survive after messing up with the flow

  • -
  • -
  • -
(They said they'll think of a way)


They promised to meet me on the same spot the next day but no one showed up. I suspect they lie.